


One Piece: The Cosmetic Sword (Luffy X Reader)

by BeingAJackson



Category: One Piece
Genre: Anime Spoilers, F/M, Gen, Luffy x Reader, Other, Reader-Insert, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-12
Updated: 2015-01-12
Packaged: 2018-03-07 08:40:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3168572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeingAJackson/pseuds/BeingAJackson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dammit. Why'd I get stuck with the flipping nickname Ore? Why do I have to live with my creepy uncle? Why did I have to meet that stupid talking sword and make that one stupid wish?</p>
<p>I didn't think things could get any worse.</p>
<p>Then I met an idiot named Monkey D. Luffy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> One Piece belongs to and was created by Eiichiro Oda.

Damn. I got lost,  _again_. I hate this stupid vineyard. How the hell could I even get lost in here? I mean, I'm like five-foot seven, and these stupid vines even pass my height then!  _I'm setting these dumb raisins on fire once I find where my house is, if I actually ever do._

I trudge through the bumpy terrain, stumbling every now and then. The sky was starting to turn into a pinkish-orange color. I seriously need to get home before dark. I suddenly remember the kerosene lamp attached to my pants that my uncle John gave me. It was like one of those that you would see in the old black and white movies. Now all I needed was a serial killer and a totally hot boyfriend to kick the serial killer's ass.

_Keep on dreaming, Ore. Liked you'd ever get a hot boyfriend. Can't you actually make it somewhat realistic, like a female serial killer coming to kill you with_ _ **her**_ _totally hot boyfriend?_ "Shut up," I muttered to myself, hating that little person in my head who just loves to make fun of me. "Remember, if I go down, you'd come with me, whether you like it or not."

I was jolted out of my fight with myself when I stumbled over something. It was almost pitch black, and I couldn't see a thing.  _Lamp_ _._  I tug it from my side, and hear a very loud rip. Crap. Crap crap crap crap crap. Holy cheese and crappers. Mom's gonna kill me.

I quickly light the lamp and take a look at my pants. I sigh and give myself a little pat on the back when I see that not too much damage was done, only a ripped belt loop. I hold my lamp-no wait, it's a lantern-up and scan my surroundings. Thick trees surrounded my, and that lead me to guess that I tripped on an exposed root.

"How the hell did I get out here?!" I yelled once I actually realized where I was. Uncle John live  _nowhere_  near any sort of forest.  _Maybe you just missed seeing the actual forest because you have no social skills or life, too busy being a waste of space._  Dammit. That little voice might be sorta right- and I hope it is on the part where I didn't notice this stupid forest. Maybe if I turn around and walk back, I get back to the vineyard, maybe even the house!

But, which way is back. . .

Nah, just keep walking forward.

I do my best to not trip over those evil little rocks and roots that want to hurt me oh so badly. I shivered as a breeze blew by me. I really should have brought a warmer jacket with me. This stupid white cardigan was made more so for fashion.

I saw a little opening ahead of me, and I quickly rushed towards it. A little cave appeared in front of me. Spooky little cave, or dark cold night? I knew that I was just asking for trouble, but I really can't resist.

I tip-toed into the cave, going on until the entrance was just a little speck of light. I came upon a fork in the road, and I tried to decide on which way to go. I never really liked the left, so right it was! I cheerfully marched forward. I had ventured a few meters onto the right path, until I heard a slight rumbling sound. I quickly turned around, but I knew it was too late with a single glance. I was too scared to try and go back anyways.

Rocks fell from the ceiling, and I screamed. My eyes shut themselves tight, and I did my best to cover myself as my exit disappeared.  _No problem, caves usually have more than one exit, right?_  I could feel myself trembling, and I ran away from my blocked exit. If that just collapsed, who knows until the rest of the cave might go? I have to find a way out quick.

Today's my lucky day today, isn't it?

I ran forward until my lungs were burning and my head was spinning. I haven't heard anymore rumbling, but I didn't really want to take my chances. The kerosene lantern screeched as I yanked it back and forth by its handle.

I almost fell and broke my neck when I saw another light source. I rushed towards it. Freedom was mine! I could finally escape from this place! I knew that I definitely couldn't die yet; way too many mysteries in the world for me to explore!

I could feel my body getting lighter and lighter by the second. My lungs didn't burn so bad as before, and I could feel my head clearing up. All of that stopped when I just saw that it was just some sort of strange glowing mushroom, and another dead end. I was stuck. Stupid, moronic me. It's night out.

I growled, walking forward. I dropped the lantern, and it only flickered momentarily before stabilizing. I kicked and stomped on the stupid mushrooms. "Flipping mushrooms! Giving me false hope! Die you stupid mushrooms!" I could feel tears running down my face, and my body tremble with fear. I backed against the cold wall, and slid down to the ground, feeling several laceration wounds being made into my flesh. Something warm slid down my back. I knew it was blood.

"Wasn't that a smooth move, Ore?" I sobbed. I curled up into a fetal position and cried into my knees. The fact that I was stretching my wounds didn't help.

**_"Do you need some help?"_** a small, childish voice said. I quickly looked up, but didn't see anyone. ** _"I can help you, if you would help me out of here."_**

"Who's there?" I questioned. I slowly went over and picked up the kerosene lantern. One side was scorched black from the flames. I walked more into the middle of the cave, and something caught my eye that I hadn't seen before. I bent down onto the ground, and quickly brushed the dirt away. There, stuck into the ground like a toothpick, was the hilt of a sword. It was too long and sturdy to be a dagger's or a knifes. Any idiot could tell.

_**"Please dig me out,"**_ the voice plead. I see. A solid for a solid, even though this is a talking sword-

"What the holy shit?!" I screamed. "Why is a sword talking to me!" I scrambled backwards.

**_"Please don't be scared of me. I won't hurt you, I swear. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't. I cannot move on my own."_ **

I looked at the hilt, and slowly crawled back over to it. I dug around the blade until it was loose enough that I could pull it out. It was a double-edged sword, and it glowed as bright as the moon. I could feel power radiating from it.

_What are you, some sort of poet? Shut up already, I'm trying to sleep._  And there's that killer voice.  _ **"Thank you so much. Let me help you get out,"**_  the strange voice said.  _ **"Slash me at that wall, and don't let go of me, no matter what."**_

"I'm trusting you," I muttered, while raising the sword above my head. I swung downwards, slicing through the wall as if it was warm butter. Please get me out of this hell hole.

Suddenly, it felt as if I was being sucked in. I screams and did my best to hold onto the sword, but with no prevail. I can't die here, from some strange force. I'm only fifteen! I wanted to live for another eighty years!

A single thought ran through my head before I felt myself losing consciousness.

_Let me come out in one piece-alive._


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One Piece belongs to and was created by Eiichiro Oda.

White light was literally all I saw. I guess I couldn't really see, if I had my eyes closed.

I cracked one eye open a bit, but it was still enough to blind me. "No! My precious eyeballs! Someone turn off the lights!" I yelled, still half asleep. I rolled into my side, just to find a lacking of bed and a whole lot of floor. Groaning, I looked up, keeping one eye open with difficulty. "Mother! I told you that I sleep until two unless you have some sort of food." And with that, My face fell onto my arms, which were substituting for a pillow, and I fell back asleep.

It really didn't last that long.

"Hey, Chopper! Is she awake yet?!" a very loud voice shouted.

Three figures barged in, slightly blurred from my still unadjusted eyes. "Eh?! Luffy! Sanji! Usopp! I told you guys not to come in until I said so!" a childish voice yelled.

"Is my darling princess OK?! Don't you worry, my dearest, for your prince has co-"

"But I'm bored!~" the very loud voice whined, cutting off the love-sick toned one. Rubbing my eyes, I sat up, climbing back onto the bed, just big enough for me. I opened my eyes again, seeing a small... raccoon dog, wearing a pink top hat with a medical cross on it, a man with hearts in his eyes, half of his face covered by blond hair, and a swirly eyebrow... and, there was a man with curly hair and a long nose... strange people. The most normal looking one was a man wearing a straw hat with unruly black hair and a scar under his left eye.

"My darling!~ Please excuse these morons for disrupting your beauty sleep!~" the blond man exclaimed, holding out a red rose to me, which I hesitantly took.

"You woke her up too..." the long-nosed man said, sweat dropping.

"Um... where am I? And I thought I heard a child's voice too..." my nervousness showing in my voice.

"Oh, that would be Chopper, probably," Long Nose mentioned, all three men pointing to the raccoon dog.

"Da fug you trying to pull? Why would a raccoon dog be talking?! Do you take me for an idiot?!" I chided towards the three of them. The raccoon dog turned to me.

"I am not a raccoon dog! I'm a reindeer!" he snapped at me, suddenly turning big. To put it simply, I screamed. I didn't even know I could scream so loud and so high.

"S-stop it! Calm down! We're not going to hurt you!" Long Nose stuttered. I didn't listen to him, throwing everything I could get my hands on at them. A little part of me was very satisfied when I hit Ladies Man with a glass bottle, but it faded when he babbled on about how cute I was when I was angry.

"Why is your nose so long?! What's wrong with his eyebrow?! Why the hell is there a talking animal?! Is this some sort of cartoon?!" I screamed, my back pressed against the wall.

"What are you idiots doing? Did you already scar her for life?" A man with green hair walked in, three sheathed swords at his side.

"Whoa! Are those real? Can you cut things with those? I've seen a few in a couple of shops, but they were all dull blades. So do they work?" I jumped up, getting in the green haired man's face, well, as much as I could, at least. I still couldn't stand that well.

"A-ah, those are my swords!" Long Nose boasted, in a voice that sounds slightly constipated to me. "I am Captain Usopp! 8,000 men serve under me, and I rule over 100 islands!"

"Really? Where I come from a single person basically rules over thousands of others and a big ass chunk of land, with over 18,000 islands, and about a million people in military force. Do you rule over a country or some thing?" I drone on, staring off into nowhere particular, I snap out of it when I realize they aren't making a single noise. Long Nose, who I think is called Usopp, is sweating buckets. Green haired man looks ready to slice something up, curly brow man is... doing a... wiggle dance, I think? While Chopper the Fucking Transforming Reindeer and Straw Diddly-Dumb Hat Boy looked like two children at story time.

"A-and y-you have co-contact with th-this man?" Usopp stuttered nervously, his legs shaking so much I thought they were gonna come off and do a dance marathon.

"Anyone can. as long as you have enough postage stamps, and the right address, he should get it, although I don't know if he reads them himself. An old friend of mine sent one to the president once."

"Hey, girl, what's your name?" Greeny asked me, popping a white jilted sword out of its sheath.

"Don't threaten this beautiful women with those shitty swords,Moss Head!" Curly Brow sneered at Greeny.

"Shut up, Ero-Cook!" he shot back. What the hell are they? Four year olds?

"My name's Ore. So, can you, um, tell me who the hell you guys are?" I asked loud enough so it could be heard over their bickering.

"I'm Luffy, and I'm going to be the King of the Pirates!" Straw Hat declared loudly. "This is Usopp," he continued, pointing to Long Nose, "that's Chopper," the Transformer Reindeer, "Sanji," Curly Brow, "and Zoro," he finished, the Zoro guy still glaring at my presence and Perv-Sanji glorifying me.

"Well, um, it was nice to meet you people, but I sorta have to go home before my mom freaks out that I haven't come in for supper, so yeah, just drop me off at the nearest stop and- wait did you say King of the Pirates? What the hell is that supposed to be? A kid's game? Never mind, just let me out of here. Wait! What-Where did the cave go? Why do I feel sea sick? Where is the weird talking sword?"

"Can't she realize this stuff sooner?" Usopp muttered to no one in particular.

Honestly, I felt overwhelmed. And scared, with a dash of traumatization. So, with my level-headed conscious, I screamed, ran out the door, and fell, the feeling in my legs mostly numb. "That  _hurt_ ," I muttered into the floor. "So far, I think listening to two hours to bad pop music-no,  _TWENTY_  hours- would be better than this. Okay, more like four hours."

"Make up your mind!" Zoro and Usopp yelled at me. I can't help it if I change my mind about... I think...

"Don't move! Those wounds on your back aren't healed completely, so you have to stay and rest! Running around might rip your stitches!" Chopper scolded, guiding me back to the bed and lying me down.

I like this reindeer. "Um, thanks for taking care of me. That's, uh, really nice of you... so thank you." Chopper stared are me, a blush spreading across his face.

"Complementing me won't make me happy, you dumbass!" he jested, doing a little happy dance, which was quite adorable. I laughed, while Sanji exited the room. He came back moments later, a delicious smell wafting into the room.

"A meal, for the lady. Linguine with gremolada, and a side of salad, drizzled with a homemade sauce that is sure to help you regain your energy," he said, setting up a small table and then placing the plate of food down. He set a fork and a knife on either side. "May I fetch you a drink, madam ?"

"Uh, um," I stuttered, not used to being served so politely. "I think I'll just have water, thank you."

"Right away," he said, flashing me a flirtatious smile.

"Sanji, I want some meat!" Luffy yelled.

Zoro yawned, sliding down next to a small deck on the other of the small room, looking ready for a nap. "I'll take some sake."

"Get it yourself!" Sanji growled at them, quickly getting my glass of water.

"Thanks a ton, Sanji," I smiled at him. He did his wiggle dance, saying it was no problem. I pick up the fork, twisting some of the noodles around the fork. The moment I put it in my mouth, my taste buds exploded. "This tastes great!" I shoved more of it into my mouth, never tasting anything so delicious before.

"I want some," Luffy whined.

"Don't even think about stealing Ore-chan's food, shithead!" Sanji takes at him, roughly kicking him in the head. My eyes widened, wondering why Chopper want doing anything. I was about to ask him why, when Luffy just popped back up, a waterfall of drool falling out of his mouth.

I swallowed my food before asking, "Didn't that hurt, Luffy?" He laughed. What the hell is so funny?

"Nope! Not one bit, because I'm a rubber man!" he happily declared, stretching his face out.

"Oh, that's pretty cool. I wonder how far you can stretch," I pondered out loud before continue eating.

"Why the hell are you so calm about that?!" Usopp yelled at me, looking pretty damn frustrated.

"There is a  _talking_  animal in the room. You, Sanji, and Zoro have strange things about you guys that can be explained, so I sort of should expected more strange people," I told Usopp plainly. He had a confused look etched onto his face. Do I need to put it in baby words? No way.

"Ore, do you know where you're from?" Chopper asked me in his adorable little voice.

"Yeah. I live just outside of Rutherford in California. My uncle, he grows a vineyard. Wine making is sort of my family's business. It's called Vynes. It's pretty popular in Rutherford in California. We make a lot of money on it." I babbled on and on about my family business. My uncle owned it of this moment, and when I grew old enough, it was to be passed down to me.

"That sounds boring," Luffy pointed out, looking ready to march out and find something better to do.

"Do you know how to make wine?" Zoro asked me, now suddenly awake.

"Um, well, yeah. My mom-"

"Do you know how to make sake?" Sake?

"Yeah, I do. I was forced to learn all the wines know to existence, and sake is also known as a Japanese wine. If you give me the right ingredients, I could probably make some. I can do anything with grapes; juice, wine, champagne, jellies, you name it." Zoro grinned, as if saying,  _'If you make me sake I won't slice you up.'_  I don't know about anybody else, but that sounds like a fine deal to me.

"Hey, maybe we'll pass your village on our voyage! Is near the second half of the Grand Line?" Luffy asked me excitedly.

"Um, no. It's bigger than a village, and what the frick frack is the 'Grand Line?'" I asked, really curious.

"Usopp, let's go get a map from Nami!" he happily cheered, dragging the said man away by his nose in a very comical fashion. Map? What the hell? Don't they have a computer to show me, with Google Maps or something?

Luffy and Usopp camp back, holding a rolled up map in hand. Luffy took my plate, eating the food on it in a flash, and smoothed out the map. Ignoring Sanji's threats, he pointed to a blue section labeled "GRAND LINE." Two green lines were on both sides of it. There was a landmass going straight down the center of the map, labeled "RED LINE." This didn't even look close to the map in Geography class...

"What kind of map is this? This isn't even close to what the world looks like! There isn't any 'Grand Line' that exists, so what the fuck is this? Some stupid made up map?" I protested. "Anyways, there is no such thing as a sea called 'Grand Line,' or this 'Red Line.' There's the Atlantic, Pacific, Indian, Arctic, and Southern, but no ocean like this."

"Well, it's here, and right now, your on our ship sailing this sea. How can you not know what the Grand Line is? It's the world's greatest sea!" Luffy proclaimed.

"Oh, well, okay then. I guess that would actually make sense, because they aren't supposed to be talking animals, stretching people, and people with unnaturally long noses, strange eyebrows, and green hair." This place also doesn't sound like or resemble the Earth I know. It's defying any logic I know, and that weird sword... that's what brought me here, I believe.

It makes sense, since everything isn't making sense, you get it? Like if you see a purple duck, it would make sense to see a blue duck, yes? No? Ah, shit it. I'm just crazy as hell and that's why I'm seeing all of this. Maybe I am in hell, but they can't have animals as adorable as Chopper here! Right?

"Hey, are you okay?" Usopp asked me hesitantly, noticing the flustered expression glued onto my face.

"I'm as dandy as a dandelion," I spoke, getting more frustrated by the second. "Can I just have a moment to speak with your captain about something?"

"Sure! What about?" Luffy complies, almost immediately.

"I have a favor to ask of you," and no sooner are the words out of my mouth, the other four shoot out of the door, dragging a ginger-haired girl back with them seconds later. And might I add, she looked pissed.

"What the hell did you guys- oh, she's awake," the ginger said, her mood doing a full 180. She gave me a friendly smile. "You were in pretty rough condition when we found you. My name's Nami. I'm glad your feeling better."

"Um, thanks, I'm Ore, but I just wanted to speak with the captain, and that's Luffy, right?" I was majorly confused, wondering who was the real captain.

"Oh, he is. He's just too stupid to actually make a decent decision, and he never says no."

"Oh, uh, okay then. Well, like I said, I need to ask for a favor, and it isn't a small one."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One Piece belongs to and was created by Eiichiro Oda.

"I need you people to help me find a sword."

Luffy pointed towards Zoro, bluntly saying, "Ask Zoro."

"No! It's a specific sword. It's a double edged sword, and I think it has an iron blade, but it was darker than normal iron, so I don't actually know. That's all I really took in about the sword."

"That isn't much information to go off of. There are hundreds-maybe even thousands of swords with that general description," Zoro explained to me, sitting up against the wall. Luffy and Chopper lost interest in the conversation, but Nami had gone quiet, carefully listening to our conversation. Sanji ran off to go serve a woman named Robin, and Usopp was only listening to the conversation. Luffy and Chopper had dragged Usopp over next to my right arm, and kept poking my watch as if they've never seen one before.

"Before you get too far into this conversation," Nami interrupted, "we should gather everyone else. An island is approaching in about an hour, so do you think you could wait til then?" Her eyes gazed over to me, and a slight chill went down my back. She seemed really nice, but also really scary.

"Yeah, uh, waiting is fine for me. I think I'll just actually sit here a bit more, try and get these friends of yours to stop poking my watch," I stuttered, pulling my arm towards my chest. Luffy's, Chopper's, and Usopp's amazed looks didn't falter.

"What is that, Ore?" Chopper asked me, jumping up and down. "There's something moving in it, but it doesn't look like any sort of animal to me!"

"Maybe it's some sort of pose!"

"It doesn't look like any sort of pose to me," Usopp said, warily touching it.

"Pose? I don't know what that is, but this is a watch," I said, lifting my arm up. A blue watch was latched onto my wrist, the digital numbers ticking away. I was happy that it was still there, but I didn't know why they found it so interesting.

"What's that?" Chopper and Luffy asked, the amazed looks wipe off of their faces. Nami and Zoro looked pretty interested as to what a watch was too, a terrified Usopp cowering behind Zoro.

"It's used to tell time. It's gives the hour minute, and second. That's for a standard watch, but mine also gives the day and month. It also has a timer, which is pretty cool."

"So, it's like a portable clock you wear?" Nami questioned me, grabbing my wrist and looking at the constantly changing numbers.

"Yeah, to that extent."

"Woah, that's awesome!" Luffy shouted, looking like he wanted to touch my watch. "I want one!"

"Moron!" Usopp yelled, leaping through the air and karate chopping Luffy on the head. "You barely know what two plus two is!"

"So what? I can learn!" the rubber man said, his voice unwavering.

"I've never seen a clock like this..." Nami muttered. "What did you call this? A watch?"

"Uh, yeah. It's a watch-"

"This is like a different version of the clock in the kitchen and in Alabasta."

Nami, Luffy and Usopp babbled on about my watch, while Zoro snuck out of the room sometime during the conversation. I felt the bed sink slightly next to my right, and looked to see Chopper sitting there, looking like he had several questions that he wanted to be answered.

"Hey, Ore, do you have any other cool things?" Chopper asked, looking like he was about to explode with happiness.

"Well, let's see."

I ended up taking out everything I had on me and in the backpack that I forgot I had with me, which was actually quite a bit. I had a couple of cheap ballpoint pens, my floppy wallet thing, a dead cellphone which I forgot I had, a pocket knife, a butt load of chocolate filled nips, a bag of grapes, a 16 oz bottle of coke, and-

"Hey! I was wondering where this thing went!" I held the enclosed device up, the one thing that held many of my most prized possessions. I hit the little button on the top, the screen turning on. "I've been looking for my kindle everywhere!"

Everyone in the room got skeptical looks, wondering what the hell I was so happy about. The screen changed to a random picture that was programmed in, and I unlocked the screen.

Wait...

Wait a second...

What the frickety frack...

I don't remember having so many books on this thing...

"Hey, Ore, what's that?" Chopper asked me. I tilted the screen down so he could see all the books.

"This is a kindle fire HD. I got it for my birthday last year..." My voice trailed off as I looked at the little battery in the upper right corner that told me how much power it had. The battery had a little infinity sign in it, the background of it green. My brain whirling, I went to my settings and checked my storage, remembering the many books I had.

The room was pretty silent, until I screamed. "What the fuck? What kind of fuckery is this shit?" I stared at the screen, my eyes wide. The whole damn thing was just one infinity sign!

Going back to the home screen, I pushed the on/off button, the screen going dark. I shoved that, along with everything else, inside of my backpack, except for a few nips.

"Chopper, have a nip." I shoved one into his hands, then furiously unwrapped one and threw it into my mouth. I took the rest and not very gently chucked them at Usopp and Luffy. "Eat the friggen' candy."

Three of the four exchanges wary glances, while the fourth happily ate the nips I threw at him, wrappers and all. I felt a little part of me question if he have some sort of disability."Luffy don't eat the wrappers."

"Ore, what's wrong?" Chopper asked sweetly.

"Hey! These are really good!" Luffy raved, ignoring my scolding about not eating the wrappers.

"Someone tampered with my precious kindle, of which is now improved to a sense..." I paused, just realizing how this was actually a good thing, if it was real. I let out a loud whoop, laughing at my own stupidity. "I just realized how awesome this is! Nips for everyone!" I threw the candy everywhere, many of them hitting my on the head. Nami was using a book to shield herself from the rain of sweets, and Usopp was dancing around, trying to avoid getting hit by the candy. Luffy was stuffing his mouth, eating half the candy I was throwing, and Chopper was startled by my sudden outburst of happiness.

 Nami and Usopp excused themselves, wanting to escape the chaos. Luffy was thrown out of the room by an enlarged Chopper, who said that he wanted to apply some medicine to my back, which required me to left up my shirt. Would have been pretty awkward if the others were in here while I had nothing to cover my top half. "This is gonna sting a little bit, Ore," Chopper said in a serious voice.

I braced myself, and suddenly it felt like my back was on fire. Why the hell did doctors do that? "This won't hurt one bit," they say, and then your entire back is  _burning hotter than hell_. 

I ground my teeth, my hands squeezing the sheets of the bed tightly.  _Don't be such a baby, Ore. You've been through_ _wor_ _\- FUCK IT BURNS!_

I sighed in relief when he applied another medicine to my back, almost instantly making the pain go away. He wrapped bandages around my torso, calling for Nami while doing so. "Nami! Do you think you could let Ore borrow a loose fitting top?"

"Sure thing, Chopper!" the ginger called back, her voice muffled through the wooden door. She came barging in a few minutes later, giving me a blue cropped shirt, the bottom flaring out slightly. I thanked her, appreciating it greatly. She smiled, saying it was no problem at all.

"Okay, doctor, now what?" The little reindeer blushed, doing a happy dance saying that he wasn't flattered by me calling him doctor at all. 

The answer as to what I should do was given to me when Luffy barged into the room, yelling "We see an island!" a bit too loudly. He ran out of the room, his footsteps pounding heavily on the floor. I walked out of the room, Chopper right behind me. I allowed him in front of me, not really knowing where I was going.

He climbed up a latter, which I somehow didn't notice before. I followed after him, careful to not slip and fall backwards. Once my head popped up, I was greeted by warm sunshine and an ocean breeze. Looking around, I saw a woman with shoulder length black hair, bangs swept over her forehead. She was shaded by an umbrella, lounging in a lawn chair reading a book quite peacefully, taking the occasional sip from a very elegant looking drink besides her. Sparing me a small glance, she smiled at me. I climbed onto the deck, rising to my feet. I ran to the railing of the deck, seeing a large patch of grass below me, another deck present. Chopper was with Luffy and Usopp, playing tag on the grass. Zoro was sleeping peacefully on a deck opposite of me with a steering wheel in the middle, managed by a very large man with blue hair.

Nami was near the front of the ship by the giant figure head, giving directions to the large man, Sanji at her side, serving her a drink. Taking a better look at the ship, there was a very large sail, the image of a skull with two cross bone wearing a straw hat showing through the somewhat transparent fabric. "Ore! Come down here and play tag with us!" a very energetic Luffy called to me, stretching his arm and grabbing me by my bicep. I let out a shriek as I was sent flying towards him, hear something along the lines of "Crap! I over-estimated!" coming from Luffy.

I slammed into his chest, and we fell onto the lawn from the impact. Sitting up, he let out a loud laugh, while I was a bit dazed from the sudden flight. He stood up, pulling me onto my feet as well, and then poked me, yelling "You're it!"

I shook my head a bit, trying to get rid of my dazed state. I growled a bit from frustration, prepared to scream bloody murder. I chased after the trio until I could hardly catch my breath. Grumbling swears to myself, I marched up the stairs to where Zoro was, unfazed by the commotion happening around his. "Hey, Zoro, wake up," I said, poking him between his eyes. 

"What is it," he mumbled, half asleep. I poked him between his eyes again, standing up.

"You're it."

I dashed off the deck, screaming "Zoro's it!" and with that, the real chase began. Zoro started yelling at me, and then Usopp and Luffy started to call Zoro a chicken. Fed up with their shit, he began to chase them, Chopper running with comical tears streaming from his eyes, screaming about how scary Zoro was. I chuckled to myself, walking up to where Nami was.

"I see you got the message that there's an island," she said, smiling at me.

"Oh, what a beautiful lady! Please accept this delicious drink to show my love for you!" Sanji  sang, hearts in his eyes. I happily accepted it, tasting the cool strawberry drink. 

"Hey, Sanji! I want one of those too!" Luffy yelled, clinging to the foremast.

"Shut up! You had a drink fifteen minutes ago!"

Nami grew a little tick mark, annoyed by them both. "Shut up you two!" she scolded, giving them both a death glare. They both mumbled their sorry's, except Sanji was saying it was cute when Nami got mad. Nami turned to me, all signs of annoyance gone. "So, Ore, this here is Franky," she said, pointing to the blue haired man, who I noticed was only wearing a blue speedo and Hawaiian shirt. "He's a cyborg, and he's also our shipwright." 

"It's SUPER nice to meet you!" Franky yelled, doing a weird pose.

"And over there is Robin. She's our archaeologist." No sooner after the words left her mouth, did a hand magically appear, waving to me. I jumped back, shocked by the sudden appearance of the limp, which disappeared into a sprinkle of flower petals. "She ate a devil fruit like Luffy and Chopper," she cleared up.

"So, I heard we were approaching an island," I said, turning around to face the sea. A giant lion figure head was stationed before me, but it also reminded me of a sun. Looking more towards the horizon line, I saw a green blob,  of which was growing bigger every minute.

"Yeah, we should be there in ten minutes," Nami replied. "Hey, everyone! Come here so I can give you all your allowance!" She looked over at me, smiling. "I'll give you a share without any interest, but only expect it to happen this one time, okay?"

I smiled at her gratefully, and she placed a small pile of money in my hand. "Everyone gets 15 thousand beri, got it?" Chopper came up to me, handing me my backpack with all of my things in it. I took out my wallet and put the money in it, zipping it up. I clipped it onto a loop of my jeans, leaving it to hang on my waist.

They all decided that Sanji and Nami would go shopping for food and clothes, Robin and Chopper would go shopping for new books and medicines, Franky and Usopp would go and see if there were any knick knacks they could use (Usopp said he just wanted chili pepper dust for some sort of bullet thing), and that left Zoro, Luffy, and I. Zoro said he wanted to go see if there were any weapons shops in town, and Luffy just wanted to explore.

"This town looked pretty small, but it's like an endless maze," Zoro said, completely lost. Luffy and I watched as he walked down an alley to his left. A few minutes later, we heard him shout at us, and looking upwards, there he was, on a rooftop.

"How can he get lost so easily..." I mumbled to myself, holding a firm grasp on the scruff of Luffy's shirt. He was like an untrained puppy: wanting to go one way, then another, then back around again.

"Get your ass down here, Zoro!" I shouted up to him. "I'll help you find a weapons shop; just don't get lost anymore!" His face turned red as he insisted that he wasn't lost. Jumping down a good twenty feet, he grumbled about what an annoying woman I was. We walked pass a load of crates, a rope very conveniently sitting right there. 

Ten minutes later, I had both Luffy and Zoro on makeshift leashes, holding the two pieces of rope in one hand. Whenever one of them started to stray one way or the other, I could just yank them back. Each time I did, Zoro's face would go red, but Luffy just complained that he wanted to go on an adventure.

"Excuse me, sir, but is there any weapons shops around here?" I asked politely. The merchant told me that he spotted one near a fountain and told us to go straight ahead. I thanked him kindly, tugging along Zoro and Luffy.

Once I saw the fountain, my eyes drifted around until I saw a sign that had a sword and shield carved onto it, taking Zoro off the leash and pushing him towards the weapons shop, shoving him in. I sighed, finally having the moron off of my back.

Then just like that, a new problem arose.

Luffy picked me up, apparently fed up about having no adventure so far, and ran off. He threw me over his shoulder, giving me a sight that off his butt. "Luffy! what the hell are you doing?" I screamed.

"Going to find an adventure!" From what I could tell, he grabbed a branch of a tree and shot off like a rocket, me screaming all the way. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One Piece belongs to and was created by Eiichiro Oda.

"Well, this is a problem," I mumbled, struggling to free myself from the ropes that bounded Luffy and I. "Luffy, this is entirely your fault."

He laughed, letting out an insincere "Sorry." After the damn lunatic launched us into the air, we fell into some other pirate's trap. They tied us up, forced us to walk back to their creaky ship, and then shoved us below deck! I mean, come  _on_ , do they have no decency? And even more freakin' bad news: my back hurt like  _hell_. Could this day get any-

"Hey, Ore, I gotta take a piss." Worse. It got worse.

"Luffy, can you please hold it? I mean, if you're made of rubber like you said you are, then your-never mind. Just, hold it," I ordered.

"Hey, Ore?"

"Yes Luffy? What is it-and don't say that you need to piss again!"

"Nah, it's not that. I was just wondering why you were floating randomly in the water."

"Oh, yeah. If that's where you found me, then I have no idea. How did you actually get me aboard the ship, though? Did you like, stretch out your arm and grab me or something?"

"Nope. Me an' Usopp were fishing when I accidentally caught you. You were a ton to haul up!" He laughed like me weight was the funniest thing in the world. Honestly, I felt seriously pissed at him, but it was overwhelmed by the urge to laugh; when the idiot's right behind you laughing, it's hard to not join in, right?

I let loose a giggle, which soon grew into a laugh that could match the rubber man's own. I could feel the  reverberation from each one of his laugh's; with every breath that he took in. I found it strangely comforting knowing that I wasn't alone in this dark place; where light only came through the cracks in the deck above us.

But sooner than I would have liked, the laughter died down and the silence was back.

"What's it like to sail on the seas and to go on adventures, Luffy?"

"Eh? What kind of question is that?"

"I'm just curious, OK? I've never seen the ocean in person before now."

""Sailing the ocean is what it is. There's always an adventure waiting for you." The tone of his voice was soft. It put my body at a sense of peace while my mind stumbled over itself.  _Does this guy have this kind of effect on everyone? I don't even think he's doing it on purpose!_

 "I swear, you could probably make Simon Cowell, Gordon Ramsay, and Howard Stern laugh and smile in less than a minute."

 "Huh?"

"Never mind. Just talking to myself." I sighed. I really needed to start focusing on how the hell we were gonna escape from this place. The jerks had moved anything that could be considered sharp towards the edges of the room, and I don't think I had anything sharp on me, because the bastards took away the pocket knife I had.

I felt something cold against my right palm. It felt sort of slimy. Wait, was there some kind of bug on me? That would be pretty gross. I clenched my hand tight, trying to squash the bug in my hand.

Except it wasn't a bug. Bugs usually don't scream and curse.

My hand opened a bit from surprise, allowing the  _thing_  to escape. A small frog (not a big) hopped in front of me, giving me a dirty look. "Do you usually try to kill your savior?" It asked in a surprisingly deep voice.

"Eh? Who's there?" Luffy asked from behind me, trying to look at the source of the voice. Suddenly, there was a creaking noise-like if you put a ton of weight on the floor, and then it creaks. I looked up to see a scrawny man-possibly in his late forties-standing before me.

"Who the hell are you?" I asked him. He scowled at me, obviously insulted by my rude behavior.

"You can just address me as Hood," he said, looking around the room like a child looking for his favorite toy. I looked him over; finding his upper half to be extremely scrawny, but his legs were extremely muscular.

"Well, someone didn't miss out on leg day, but sure missed arm day," I muttered to myself. Then a light bulb-a very stupid, very cheesy one-went off inside my head. "Bro, do you even lift?"

Hood turned around, looking very startled. "Wh-what?!?" I laughed; no one in this world will ever get my references, so I could bust them out at a moments notice!   _This is awesome_ , I thought to myself. I felt slightly embarrassed and slightly accomplished.

As I was laughing my ass off, Luffy seemed to get the fact that he couldn't turn around, so he did the next best thing he could think of. He bent backwards, making me bend forwards, giving me a face full of stray ropes and the taste of sea water.

"You look weird," the rubber man said, leaning back a bit more.

"Luffy! Stop it!" I yelled through the mouth full of ropes. He uttered a small "oops" and straightened his posture.  I sighed at the relief my body was given, but sadly, it didn't last long. He must of been feed up with all of our sitting, because he stood straight up. I let out a surprised yelp, as did Hood.

"Ah, this feels much better!" Luffy let out a boisterous laugh as he stepped forward, dragging me along with him.

"Luffy! What the hell are you doing?!" I screeched, stumbling from the sudden movement.

"I'm bored again. I wanna go explore the island."

"You...you can't just..." I was at a loss for words. This moron  _knew_ he could just get up and walk us out of here, but decided to sit in a dark, damp place for who knows how long, and-

"I really hate you right now, Luffy. After we get out of this, I hope you go drown in the sea or choke of your food." I cussed to myself, walking forward. Luffy not expecting the sudden movement, started to get dragged around like a rag doll; feet dragging on the floor as he sunk lower towards the ground. "Hopper, give me a hand and help me find my stuff."

"It's Hood!" he cried, going to his emo corner.

"Hood, Hopper, Holly-I don't see any difference. Now just  _get up and help me find my freaking bag full of shit_. I didn't know which pissed me off more: Luffy's stupidity, or how easily Hood got offended. 

Hood and I looked torn apart the bottom deck looking for my bag. I  _did_ manage to find a spare knife laying around and had Hood cut us free. but then Luffy went running off yelling about meat or something. If I wasn't in such a bad mood, I think I would have laughed at how childish he was acting.

I followed him to the upper deck, bits and scraps of what I presumed was food was flying all over the place. "Why are you with such an idiot?" Hood asked. 

"He would have gotten lost otherwise-oh  _shit_ _!!!_ " I forgot about Zoro! He could be half-way across the world by now!

Yelling at Luffy to hurry up with stuffing his face, I went around ransacking  the upper deck. I managed to find my bag in the captain's quarters (with a hella lot of beri's near them) Once I took whatever I wanted, I rushed back out to the deck. "C'mon! Let's go!" I yelled, grabbing Hood's and Luffy's shirts and yanking them along with me. 

"Wh-what?! Where are we going?!?" Hood questioned me. 

"Luffy and I have to find some walking grass with three swords!!!"

"Eh? You mean Zoro?"

"Yes, Luffy, I mean Zoro! Now hurry up!" It was when the town was in sight that I tugged them both forward, shoving Hood off in some direction, ordering him to "look for the walking grass in town." I still had Luffy in tow behind me, not wanting  _another_  one lost.

"Hey, Ore, your bag looks bigger than before."

"Yeah, I grabbed some, uh, some things they had on board," I gasped. All this damn running was wearing me out pretty fast.  _Why am I running still? Town's in sight, moron,_  I thought to myself as I slowed to a walk. "Hey...Luffy...can we stop for a moment? I'm feeling pretty winded..."

I collapsed onto a patch of grass beneath us; Luffy looked at me like I was the weirdest person on the planet. "Hey, Ore?" I looked over to him as he crouched down more to my level.

"What?"

"Why you sleeping on the grass?" 

"I-I'm not sleeping! I even  _told_ you that I was going to just sit down!" I let out a small sign. "Were you even listening to me?" He let out one of his unforgettable laughs; everything about him saying "nope." 

I wanted to slap him, but I figured that would be pretty rude, so I just took my bag off from my back and set it down in front of me. "Let's see what I grabbed, Luffy. C'mon; take a seat," I offered, patting the spot next to me. He raised an eyebrow at me.

"Huh? Why?" he questioned. "Can't we go get some meat instead?" 

"Well, I wanna see how much money we have now. If I grabbed a ton, then I'll get you some food, but first I have to figure out the conversions from US dollar to beri, so..." My voice trailed off, as I counted how much I took. There was the 30-thousand that Nami gave Luffy and I, so I could just put that aside, but other than that, I counted up to... "795 million... 826 thousand... 512... ok! That seems like a  _ton_  of money!!"

I grabbed everything and stuffed it all into my bag as I got ready to go. "Ok, Luffy: change of plans. We gotta find Nami and ask her about how much this is..."

"But food!!" he whined as I pulled him along with me. "You said we could go get meat!!" I ignored him as we entered the town. I spotted Nami and Sanji carrying multiple bags (I really just mean Sanji). I called out to them, dragging a very reluctant Luffy behind me.

"Nami! Sanji! Come 'ere! I have a couple of questions to ask you guys!" I let go of Luffy's hand, taking out the money in my wallet. "I got over 795.5 million beri's. Don't know if that's good or not, and I forgot to ask you to explain the prices to me." Nami's eyes widened. She snatched the money from my hands; counting the money herself. She cheered, going on about something related to making up food money from last month.

After she calmed down from her little celebration, she explained how much one thing or another costed. "Oh, ok. I get it now-so, one dollar would equal roughly one hundred beri's. Oh cow, I hit the jackpot on that pirate ship then!!"

"I don't think it was a pirate ship," Sanji voiced. "It's more likely that you and the rubber idiot were caught by a gang of bounty hunters. The most likely case is that they recognized Luffy and wanted his bounty of 300 million." My jaw dropped from the stunning price. He was worth that much? I mean, I get that he was a pirate with with flag and cannons and stuff, but I didn't realize that people could be wanted by the government so badly...

"Ore!" Luffy shouted in my ear, snapping me out of the endless scenarios that could have given him such a bounty. "Let's go get some food now!"

"Ok, ok-let's go get some food. I also wanna buy some clothes too-"

"Oh, don't worry about that," Nami interjected. "Sanji and I figured that you would be around for a while, so we took the liberty of getting you some clothes, since you probably didn't have any clothes packed." Sanji held up an armful of bags; saying that everything would look great on me.

"Um, thanks, really, but how did you know what my sizes were?" Nami winked and stuck out her tongue. It was one of those looks that said  _I know exactly how but I'm never gonna tell you_. 

"It's a secret."

"Ore! Let's go find someplace with meat!! I'M HUNGRY!!" I sighed, getting fed up with Luffy yelling for food.

"Okay, I get it. Let's go before I do something I regret," I grumbled, dragging him behind me by his shirt. I looked back at Nami and Sanji. "You two wanna get a bite to eat with us?"

"Huh? Oh, no thanks," Nami laughed, seeming tense now. Sanji had his funky eyebrow raised in suspicion, for what I have no idea. I shrugged, resuming the walk to find some food.

* * *

As the duo walked away, Nami and Sanji were puzzled as to why Luffy didn't just ask the ship's cook to make something. That's what he usually did-and he only ate at a restaurant of some kind if Sanji wasn't anywhere to be found. Maybe he'd forgotten that Sanji could cook, but that was something that the crew could count on for Luffy to never forget.

"That was strange..." Nami muttered to herself quietly, so only Sanji could hear.

"No doubt about it..."


End file.
